You surviving the open bar?
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I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
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