He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
