i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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