A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
