I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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