i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
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The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
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That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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