So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
