Where is the hickey?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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