It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
