I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
