So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
