you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize