quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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