Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
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If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize