I wish I could teleport
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize