if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
