dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
