Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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