Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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