Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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