we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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