they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
