She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
