Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
