If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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