Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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