Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
