I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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