i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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