oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
