He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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