Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Never joke about your clitoris.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
