Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
