my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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