GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
