The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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