Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
