I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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