Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
