Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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