don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
