I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
