The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Randomize
