no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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