I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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