you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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