NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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