i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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