You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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