I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
