the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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