Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
