What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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