he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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