i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
