It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
