he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
