dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
