He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just tell him i said nine months
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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