Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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