For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
