He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
