You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
