can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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