I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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